A personal sharing … on loss

During my years in Al-Anon I have done a lot of thinking about powerlessness. This past year, I’ve had a lot of feelings about powerlessness as well. The feeling work can mostly be described for me in one word, grief.

On my latest silent retreat, I “harvested” my 2016 journals, recalling a year ago today as I sat by my father’s side in his 11th hour. I journaled my many rising emotions (in the moment) … relief, mystery, sadness and joy, gratitude, fear, patience and impatience, indecision, narcissism and awareness.

I expressed my gratitude in prayer for dad’s life, my life and the gift of life in general. I asked God to teach me to slow down, to be more still and enjoy the pleasures created for me.

I suspect by the time most of us are over 50, there will have been many forms of loss – divorce, bankruptcy, illness, death and even emotional change. Losing both my parents this past year might have been cause to push everyone away.

I thank God to have been in a spiritual recovery program long enough to have awakened that part of myself that wanted health, no matter what happened. I haven’t really written about Dad’s death and then Mom’s, 6 months later this past year … until now.

I’ve needed to grieve in my own way and time, needed to get back to basics and admit powerlessness over these losses. My hope in the promises of a Power greater than myself helps me to live with the loss, the pain, and feel alive again.

A good reminder:

Pain and loss are part of life. No matter what I do, I will not be able to change that fact.

In a community of trusted others and with spiritual guidance, I am able to face and grow through anything that comes my way. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well, and gratitude (especially works) when things seem to be going badly.

Have you expressed gratitude lately for the seemingly good or seemingly bad going on in your life? Poor health certainly is not a good thing in and of itself; however, poor health may be exactly what is needed to get the rump off the couch.

Start with you are and in a state of gratitude and if you want to give me a call and share gratitude lists with one another, I would really like that. If you want to give me a call for that free consultation, or the cup of coffee I offered last week, you may do that as well. My number is 361.549.4604.