Like many of you, I can really have a tendency to get overwhelmed by being overly responsible and NOT just during the holidays. It seems there’s always so much things to do. It’s hard for me to tell people no and I can teeter on the edge of feeling more cray-cray than usual when I take on too much!
Since very young, I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everybody —with a not well family, I didn’t know what my choices were. Today, with the help of my recovery program I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many things I do not have to do:
My brain doesn’t like not knowing or not understanding things. It will even go so far as to make stuff up to feel satisfied that it IS indeed in the know.
Some things are not my business, and other people, places and things may simply never make sense to me.
Be reluctant to show my feelings.
When I’m happy, I can give in to it! When I’m not, I can turn to my recovery friends (or trusted others) who help me with acceptance, perspective and to grow through the tough times.
Three years ago, I knew more about what you were feeling than I did myself. Learning how to feel has become part of my recovery and it is great not bottling that stuff up inside me anymore. My preferred method of identifying my feelings is through journaling and a call to a trusted other, sharing what I’ve written and listening for perspective.
Feel threatened by the future.
I can take life one day at a time. I can be a wife one day at a time, a mother, an employer, a professional and anything I want to be ONLY one day at time. This is SUCH a relief to me. The God of my understanding is in the here and now. This is where I want to live.
Feel guilty about the past.
With the help of 12 little Steps, I can make amends to God, to myself and to others and learn from the mistakes I have made. Forgiveness has truly been mine all along.
I can go to a meeting, or pick up the phone –there is always a trusted other or professional to reach out to. I have truly learned to enjoy my own company over time, I like to sew, walk the dogs, read and write.
Take responsibility for other people’s choices.
They have their own Higher Power to help them make their decisions. This includes especially my family. They have their own God and I am not It!
I am learning to say what I mean and not say anything in a mean way.
Give up on my hopes and dreams.
My Higher Power is not limited by my lack of imagination.
What is on your “Things-not-to-do” list? Are you overly responsible for others as I have been?
As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for you?”
With each day there is a chance for a new start, is there something you could stop doing so you can start taking better care of yourself? Do you need to exercise, eat better and feel better?
I can help you. My studio is full of passionate and caring trainers, clients and laughter. We work hard and get results.